Is Self Love Cliche?
I love love!! I love the woman I am!! And it has taken me years to be able to say that without cringing and squirming mercilessly!!!
For me Self Love isn’t a 1970’s bumper sticker cliche, the proverbial ‘magic happens’ adorning car boots the world over and believe me I used to see SO many of these growing up in Byron Bay! Self Love has been something I’ve needed to learn how to do. Something I needed to practice every single day.
I used to believe that if I said I loved myself and believed it hard enough then it would magically happen (pardon the expression). For me this wasn’t the case. This leads me to something I read the other day on self love. The words ‘life affirming dignity’ leapt off the page and slapped me in the face and my first thought was ‘YES!’ This is what self love is to me!!’.
Self Love is to make the life affirming choice. The choice that makes me feel stronger rather than weaker. It’s the choice that has me thinking yeah, I can nurture and protect myself here. The choice that makes me feel as though I’ve got this!! The choice that has me feeling like I should be wearing my underwear on the outside, Wonder Woman style!!
I often speak with clients about the choices that we all make every day that are life affirming or life depleting. This takes practice, practice, practice. And with practice you begin to feel the subtle nuances of the choices you make each day. You WILL make mistakes here, I still make several! I’ve chosen the wrong relationships, foods, substances, jobs, but christ have I learned a thing or two! Mistakes are how we learn. And even learning to see my mistakes as a lesson, holding myself with compassion rather than criticism, is an act of self love, a life affirming choice.
For me self love is the summation, the sum total of all the life affirming choices I make each and every day. The little ones like ‘shall I have a salad or a piece of cake’ (and sometimes the cake is the life affirming option, to make me smile) to the big ones i.e. ‘is this the right relationship, job or financial decision for me’ to the ones in between, i.e. ‘is it okay for someone to speak to me or behave in that way towards me?’.
Self love is making choices that feel like truth. Then all that’s left to do is communicate my choices with grace, humility and honesty. Courageous communication is still something I work on too, but we’ll save that one for another blog!
If I do my work, keep myself emotionally and spiritually well, I can bask in self love’s glow. I don’t get to do this without the emotional work.
So to answer my question, no, self love is not a cliche but it does take work. Self love is life affirming dignity. That is how I experience it. I hope this was helpful.
May your life be your masterpiece in progress as ever we are becoming, Lauran xo.
#decisionmaking #choices #selflove #emotionalwellness #mentalwellness #sobriety #recovery #addiction #12steps #mentalhealth #londontherapist #therapylondon #psychotherapy #drugaddiction #addict #mentalwellness #truth #trust #compassion #selfcare #abuse #traumarecovery #traumatherapy #domesticviolence #dv
